August 24, 2015

The transformative influence of a leader is not who she is in her public performance and duty, but who her family and close friends see her to be in private. Walking the walk and not just talking the talk marks the difference between nice words, or transformation. The Questscope family struggles to make sure that we are not just talking, but actually experiencing and sustaining transformation. This is the story of one of our staff who is being transformed. And because of that, her life, who she is, transforms others.

I have always dreaded the days…those moments…when the need to change overwhelms my heart and mind!

A stream of change flows cold and fresh inside me now, and has for some time, washing out the debris of my pre-planned life, pre-made judgments, fear of "everything tomorrow," and my need for others to tell me it is okay for me to have my dreams.

Whenever I start to hunt for the old fears I want to leave behind, I have to go back and whisper to myself…stop…don’t overthink, just feel the beauty and the love of being here, of living!

At Questscope, every day I feel this stream of life: it comes on with the smell of coffee in the common kitchen; the sounds of laughter at the breaks; in the beads of sweat on foreheads after a long, hot day in a refugee camp; and in the love and support of colleagues, managers, and directors who are also friends.

I am growing, I am not afraid to become, I am learning a thousand things from each thing that happens around every corner and in every conversation.

Inside me, doors are now open. I am no longer cramped by the fences I once built to protect me from life, and I am shaking off the dust of things that I don't want to have in my life.

Today…I am alive in all the joys of success as I became stronger, more independent, and hold closer to what I truly believe in… and tomorrow, my eyes will be focused on that goal of living freer and cleaner.

I'm sure that I am closer to that target than I think right now. 


Rasha Abu-Zaineh
Education Programs Coordinator